I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im part way to drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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