Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
