If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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