We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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