remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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