I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
