I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
