talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
