oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
