dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
