Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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