if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
