All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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