I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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