my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
