pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
