Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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