I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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