I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize