well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
