I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
