no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize