Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
