No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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