The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
