if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
