The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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