Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ttyl tear gas
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
