apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
