This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
