I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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