kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
