I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
