paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
