never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
50% drunk capacity currently
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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