so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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