can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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