Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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