I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
