Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
