I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
