Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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