Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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