You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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