My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
