Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
