it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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