My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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