i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
