thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
