So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
