If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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