he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
