being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
