WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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