Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
