hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
do nipples grow back?
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