i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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