So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
