Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do vagina's smell?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have fence marks all over my body
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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