I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
