i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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