i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
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She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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