Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
