i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize