Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
